Nancy Grace's New Performance Opportunity! (Photoshop, Satire)

For booking information, call 1-888-pee-yooo!

"Dancing With the Stars" Audience Seeks Flatulence Protection for Nancy Grace's Next Performance

Since Nancy Grace farted while on "Dancing With the Stars," there was understandable anxiety by front-row spectators for her next dance performance.  This picture, just in, shows how the audience is protecting itself.  Some observers, however, feel the facial wear may also be a commentary on Grace's talent as a dancer.

Prosecutor Giuliano Mignini Expresses Mild Surprise at the Verdict in the Amanda Knox Appeals Trial (Photoshop, Satire)

I had ten times my usual number of hits the day Amanda Knox was acquitted in Italy. Now I am simply enjoying myself with Photoshop, getting in some digs at Giuliano Mignini, who expected to win the case and was truly shocked when he did not. Apparently, his delusions are not so crystal clear to the rest of the world as they are to him.

Italian Translation:
CHE-E-E-E!!!!

Prosecutor Giliuano Mignini Denies Rumors (Photoshop, Satire)

Fall Is In The Air

Fall  is officially here.  It came in on September 23, but I just now noticed it.  I love this time of year.

Big orange pumpkins are already in the fields and in the stores around here.  The sunlight is more muted, the temperatures cooling, the hills are browning (as is the grass in my backyard).  The air is sweet with the fragrance of dying grasses.

No breezes stir the trees and nature seems unusually quiet and still.  It's as if the earth itself were deep in meditation.

Photoshop Caricature of Rick Perry

My effort for today.  Not too bad, I think.  It's a bit more realistic than the one of Obama in the prior post.

This Photoshop CS5 comes with some really great built-in brushes, that can be used to create realistic hair.  I like that new feature a lot.

As for Governor Perry, it seems he blew it at the last Republican debate this week.  He openly opposes any effective means of stopping illegal immigration and believes Texans should pay for educating the children of illegal aliens.  By admitting this in the debate, Perry has effectively taken himself out of the race.

Too bad.  His failure gives further impetus to the candidacy of RINO Mitt Romney, who appears in the ascendancy.

If we Republicans can't come up with anyone better than these Democrat-lite RINOs, our future as a party is very much in doubt.

Photoshop Caricature of Barack Obama

Hmm, I just found out that doing caricatures isn't as easy as it looks.  However, you learn by doing in Photoshop, and I did learn a little and had fun doing it.

More On "The Kill Osama" Coloring Book (With Color Suggestions for Kids!)

Uncolored Depiction of Osama Buying the Farm

It appears the coloring book depicting Osama's death has caused a lot of controversy. Well, I can see why. It may be too harsh a subject matter for little kids. I wouldn't buy the coloring book for my grandkids. Not that I mind depictions of Osama cashing in his chips, I have done a few in my time. But mine weren't intended for small children.

When I was a kid with coloring books, there weren't any depicting American troops mowing down Nazis, even though it was soon after World War II. I drew my own, of course, but there weren't any commercially available. It was just too brutal a subject matter for children.

I found an actual page online from the controversial coloring book and it is above left.  Below the uncolored version is one I colored in with Photshop CS5.  This latest version of Photoshop is very cool, and I colored the picture to see what CS5 could do, as well as for laughs.  Pass this example along to your little kids so they can properly depict Osama getting his head blown off.  You sick puppy!

Seriously, to help your children color it right, buy them a $1,000 copy of Photoshop CS5 and a new laptop.  Beats the heck out of color crayons any day.

Even more seriously, I read that cartoonist Garry Trudeau uses Photoshop to color his drawings.  He draws them first in pencil, then goes over them in black ink, then has staff scan them into a graphic file (probably a jpg).  Staff then uploads the scan into Photoshop where any imperfections can be easily corrected.  You can erase unnecessary lines and use the liquid filter to reshape parts of the drawing that aren't quite right.  Finally, you can use the magic wand tool to easily color sections of the scanned drawing (as I did in the example above).  If you really want to impress, you can copy and paste garment patterns into the pants, shirts, etc, using the "paste into" option.

By the way, I didn't pay full price for my copy of CS5, since I am a long-time user and only have to pay an update price.  This exercise has made me aware that I may be able to create some better graphic art.  I can draw pretty well using pencil and paper, not as well with a graphic tablet.  Then I can do the scan and color in CS5.  Gotta try it (actually, I already did, see previous post about the coloring book).

Osama Bin Laden As He Appears Today (Photoshop)

It's Sunday and time for some Photoshop fun and experimentation.

I did a Photoshop of Osama Bin Laden at the bottom of the sea in an earlier post, but it wasn't realistic.  Osama was wearing a turban and a beard and standing up, even though a skeleton.  Then I got to thinking:  what might Osama really look like right now, today?  Here's what my imagination and Photoshop CS5 brought forth:  his skull with a big crack where the commando bullets did the damage, his jaw bone buried in the sand, while a crab picks whatever meat might be left on the bleaching bones.

My Impression of CORNEL WEST (Photoshop)

Cornel West Having Lunch in the Faculty Lounge,
Princeton University

Far leftist Professor Cornel West has been insulting President Obama this week with some vicious rhetoric.  Now I don't care that two radicals are involved in a cat fight, but West's crazy-assed, ghetto gang-banger rhetoric only reinforces my impression of Cornel West, Professor at Princeton University:  he  is a hateful, loud-mouthed affirmative action fraud who would never have gotten anywhere in academia without lowered scholastic standards based on race.  He is generally seen shouting racism at anything that moves and sporting an Afro hairdo that resembles an atomic bomb blast.

IMHO, West was hired by the Ivy League not because he has anything valuable to impart, but because he is a Marxist, racial venom-spewing asshole with a really bad attitude and a chip on his shoulder the size of Manhattan. For some reason, such attributes are held in high esteem in the hallowed halls of prestigious universities.

This week West called Obama "a black mascot of Wall Street and a black puppet of corporate plutocrats."  He also claimed that Obama is not authentically black.  Read about it here.

The Photoshop herein describes my impression of Cornel West, perhaps while he is having lunch in the Faculty Lounge at Princeton.  Eat hearty, Cornel, you fraud.

Netanyahu Schools Obama: Israel Will NOT Return to Its 1967 Borders! (Photoshop)

In a meeting today in the Oval Office, Benjamin Netanyahu (of Israel) responded to Obama's Palestinian peace plan by rejecting it.

Apparently, Obama had not been able to write Netanyahu's remarks for him, because the latter stated categorically that Israel would not return to its 1967 borders as prescribed by President Obama.  Further, Israel would not allow Palestinians the much demanded "right of return," effectively barring them from immigrating to Israel.

According to Rush, who viewed the exchange, Obama stared daggers at Netanyahu while the latter spoke, but to no avail.  It appears Obama will have to seek his legacy by throwing some other nation under the bus.

Read more about it here.

Announcing: ARAB SPRING SOAP (Photoshop)

I'm in a Photoshop kind of mood lately.
Feel free to use on your site or blog.

Islam Will Dominate the World? Not So Fast.... (Photoshop)

Islam Israel Will Dominate the World!

We've all seen this photo of a Muslim somewhere in the U.K. carrying a sign that says ISLAM WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD.

Here's a nice Photoshop of the photo, changed in such a way as to make this barbarian's friends look at him with suspicion.

Osama Bin Laden In The Afterlife! (Photoshop)

New Sign Seen at Former Compound of Osama Bin Laden (Photoshop)

Another Osama Bin Laden Death Photo: Is It Real or Photoshopped? You Be the Judge!

Real or photoshopped? Inquiring minds want to know!

Looks pretty real to me.

The Mahdi Emerges From the Well! Islamic Prophecy Fulfilled! (Photoshop)

The Mahdi has arisen from the well to fulfill Islamic prophecy!  One of his disciples snapped this photo just as the Mahdi emerged.  The Mahdi was wearing a black Pork Pie hat, sunglasses and chomping on a cigar.  When asked for his first statement, the Mahdi only replied:

"Got a match?"

The Coming of the 12th Imam, the Mahdi! (Photoshop)

Nutcase Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is a Muslim fanatic on steroids.  He strongly believes that "the 12th Imam," a kind of Islamic Messiah, will emerge from a well to usher in "the End Times."  Since this is Islam we're talking about, the great event will involve lots of killing, murder and blood, particularly of Jews.

Soon thereafter we will all be judged and most of us thrown into Hell for not believing in this nonsense in the first place.

You can read about it here.

Of course, I am always looking for an excuse to create a new Photoshop.  Here is my depiction of the emergence of the 12th Imam.

The scary part of all this is that these fanatics actually believe this fairy tale and may use it to start a nuclear conflagration with Israel.  It is, after all, their assignment from Allah.

Let's just hope that some drunk doesn't fall into a well in Iran, climb out and be mistaken for the Mahdi.  If that happens, duck.

Union Protester Ousted by Police from Wisconsin Capitol

I found this photo at Serr8d's Cutting Edge and added a talking balloon for the ousted protester.

Free Loader Unloaded in Wisconsin

Charlie Sheen's New Line of Men's Fragrances (Video, Photoshop, Satire)

Jimmy Fallon did a brilliant impersonation of Charlie Sheen, announcing a new brand of men's cologne called "Winning." Fallon's skit inspired my own Photoshop (hey, it was a slow news day, awright?):

And if you can't get enough of Sheen's narcissism, watch the video of his first internet broadcast of  "Sheen's Korner" here.  In it Charlie spends most of an hour blathering on about nothing in particular while his resident groupies sit behind him smiling and laughing at all of Sheen's bad jokes and witticisms.  They had better pretend support or be cut off the gravy train.  Pathetic.