Jim Carrey's Gay Gross-Out: "I Love You, Phillip Morris"

I am generally tolerant towards gays (these scum would be an exception).  I have gay in-laws and they are occasionally welcomed in my home.  I oppose hatefulness towards gays, because my personal motto has been, since childhood, "Live and Let Live."  If you aren't hurting me, I won't hurt you.

However, you have to draw the line somewhere, and I draw it at Hollywood films:  I do not want to watch gay men suck face.

So imagine my surprise when wifey and I went shopping for rental movies.  I saw one starring Jim Carrey -- funny guy from "Dumb and Dumber" and "Liar, Liar."  It is rare when Jim Carrey makes a bad comedy.  This Carrey film was called "I Love You, Phillip Morris."  The jacket ad claimed that this film might be the funniest one ever made by Jim Carrey.  Oboy, time for some belly laughs!  We rented it.

The movie was not a comedy at all.  It wasn't remotely funny.  It was a gay romance along the lines of "Brokeback Mountain."  The Carrey character one day admits to his wife that he is gay, and goes to live with his boyfriend.  He is later sent to prison for credit card fraud, because "the gay lifestyle is very expensive."  All that bling and fashion, y'know.

While in prison, Carrey's character meets another gay; they fall in love, get a cell together and spend a lot of time dancing cheek to cheek, engage in long, lingering mouth kisses, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears.  Throughout the film, the viewer is treated to portrayals of homosexual anal and oral sex.  The final scene shows a big white cloud floating in the sky...shaped like a giant penis and scrotum.  Don't watch this on a full stomach.  Better yet, don't watch it at all.

Hollywood is passionately involved in the norming of gay behavior, and almost every film and television sitcom, even broadway plays, have at least one gay in the cast.  Some really go overboard -- "Under the Tuscan Sun," for example, where the viewer's nose is rubbed in gayness throughout.  I saw that movie, what, ten years ago and I'm still pissed off.  The viewer is pushed to the point of revulsion and then pushed a little further.  Perhaps movie theaters should start issuing barf bags to viewers.

I imagine that "I Love You Phillip Morris" was Jim Carrey's obligatory offering to the gay causes so popular in Hollywood.  His portrayal of a gay lover/crook will be seen as high art among the stylish.  It will never, however, be a box office hit.  It enjoyed only a limited release in 2009.  The reason is simple.  Most people are not gay.  Most people find overt gay behavior rather disgusting.

This film will not do much for Carrey's image with the viewing public, I suspect.  That's because it fails to answer the profound and timeless question once posed by the late Sam Kinison:  "How does one guy look at another guy's hairy ass and find love?"

If the great philosophers couldn't answer this cosmic riddle, how can I?  Nevertheless, gays are free to do what they like...as long as I don't have to watch them do it.